Saturday, July 23, 2005

Saying sorry.

How much does saying sorry actually mean to you?

My class often jokes about my Chinese Language Tutor, whose hairdo seriously looks like Elton John. I would frequently break out singing 'Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word' during his lessons because it felt stupid to do so, but more because the song's really nice.

But just 5 minutes ago, the above mentioned question suddenly struck me. I'm not sure how much it means to you people, or even myself. Saying sorry is often an instantaneous response for a fast exit to a sticky situation. That's what I personally feel. Sad, but true. For those who mean their apologies, this does not refer to you people.

Throughout the course of this short 17 years I've led, especially towards the later part of that period, I've learnt to ensure that my words mean something, if not, many things. I think that in many of the very little minute things we do in life, if we would just put in a little effort, if we would just use a little more of our heart, if we meant it deeper from within that beating organ of ours, we'd touch somebody else's lives a little more. Just a little more of everything helps.

As the number of my armpit hair expand in numbers, along with my age, I've learnt to be less selfish, more thoughtful and concerned about the feelings of others. I know it sounds gay, but its true you dork. I'd rather think about life, than indulge in mindless bullshit and live in self-denial every single fucking day. Although I still do engage in mindless bullshit, I cannot deny that the affairs of others have had a significant amount of impact on me.

Which is why saying sorry should be done with utmost sincerity, and not as a reason for anything else. It isn't difficult to stop for half a second before the word comes out of your lips, and then speak through the air of sincerity. Or is it so?

Which is why I think Ivan must touch as many people's lives as he can before he dies.
Must.

posted@6:41 PM

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